The Pain Starts Thursday
by quirkyauthor
Summary: One insane doctor, one terrible secret, one carefully locked basement, and three unlucky orphans. I would advise you not to read this unless you are A:on medication and cannot think straight, or B:just like to be scared stiff.
1. Royal Purple Markings

Point. Flex. Point. Flex. Klaus Baudelaire, the middle child in his family and current eighteen year old sat on the small auburn armchair in the living room. One leg up over the top and one swinging back and forth, toes brushing the floor with every swing of his ankle, he perused the local newspaper, looking for a job.

One would normally not be up this late, but for Klaus, it was a regular thing. Ever since his life had been drastically changed by the fire that killed his parents and the evil Count Olaf after him and his sisters, he was used to spending many nights awake while his sisters slept fitfully but close by his side.

The frosty night air blew in through the open window next to Sunny. The shade curled in on itself violently and like one of those rulers you slap on your wrist to turn into a bracelet, it rolled into a perfect toilet paper roll shape. This was a somewhat odd occurrence, but to the three Baudelaires nothing could be as odd as their lives up until this point.

After Count Olaf had died in a seemingly fortunate accident, trying to get to the family fortune, and after Violet turned of age, life had been less anxious but more challenging. The miserable criminal's death had been three or four years or so ago, but everyone still had nightmares about the awful things that had happened to the three orphans. Klaus needed something to occupy his time, having read all the books in his personal library twice already. It would be lonesome for the two girls during the day, but anything would be better than having to spend time dreading the possibility of having to face Olaf or his terrible troupe.

The moment Sunny awoke from feeling the bitter cold air on her skin was the exact moment Klaus took his royal purple pen and circled an ad on the newsprint in front of him.

"Assistants needed, no experience necessary," read Klaus aloud, more to himself than Sunny who made a grumpy face at her brother for neglecting to close the window.

Soon everyone would be sleeping soundly, the window would get shut, causing the room to be warm and toasty, and the three orphan's lives would be once again changed forever.

The father clock in the hallway chimed, announcing the hour, but to Violet it sounded more like a bang that morning. The reason for her nervousness? Today her brother would be going out to town to try to find a job, and Violet had not spent a day away from her brother since the buying of the Baudelaire apartment. And she did not wish to. Violet knew that all day she would be pulling her hair out with worry and anxiety, but deep down she knew her brother would be safe. Maybe…

Klaus awoke with a start, he had stayed up as late as his frail little body would let him, looking through the leafy pages of his newspaper. He was excited to be finally doing something that could benefit him and what was left of his family. He half ran, half skipped to the counter with a contagious smile on his face.

_Splash!_ The first noise Sunny heard before she woke up was a wet one. It seems she had walked to the bathroom in her sleep and turned on the faucet then let her head fall in the sink full of water. The liquid floating around in her ears was too much of a distraction to think. She pulled out the plug and walked out of the room, dripping on the carpeted floor as she went to meet her siblings for breakfast.

"Paging Doctor Richard, extension 2587. Doctor Richard, extension 2587."

The cold, spot-less tile floor of the local hospital seemed to stretch on forever as Doctor Richard Hallings hurried to get to his phone.

He was never paged. The only reason Rich could think of why anyone would need him was something horrible just happened. Of course, even if nothing big was going on he still expected the worst. Richard was a pessimist. The most cynical person you probably have ever known. Most of his family were pessimists, he couldn't think of anyone in his immediate family that was an optimist. This didn't make so well for first impressions.

But Richard Hallings had a reason to fear. Because something awful had happened, and he was needed to fix this awful thing. It seemed like every time he turned around someone got into trouble. They should be paying him more to do this job.

Finally, he came to the opposite side of his office. His squeaky shoes coming to a halt on the smooth surface below them. _2587_, with every angry push on the numbers on his phone came four equally angry clicks. A few rings, then he heard a voice. His mouth opened in shock after he announced his name and listened to the not so fortunate news told to him. Doctor Richard forced his pudgy little body to move, move, move! He made it to the bottom of the stairwell before he fully understood what he was needed for.

Klaus, smiling and cheerful, strolled down the sidewalk with a sister on either side of him. His day was going great and nothing could change his mood. He took out the newspaper as they stopped to check the address of the building in front of him. The bricks were sooty and dark with ashes and smoke, but the sign on the door was magnificent. The wood was fine, the print and color choices were fine, and the three Baudelaires knew by the sign to take that little saying to heart; You can't judge a book by it's cover. Because even though the building was ready to fall, and a few happy criminals were ready to set it afire, the inside was most likely as wonderfully decorated and cozy as their old mansion before it burnt to the ground.

_Lyle and Berkins_ _Dentistry_.

Some random girl was bloody and lying on a gurney in an operating room. Very bloody. That was all most of the surgeons in the germ free room knew. They could care less who she was, and if they did know, it wasn't their business. They were just here to put a Band-Aid on her wounds, give her a lollipop and send her out the door, clutching her mommy or daddy's hand. At least that's what the head surgeon hoped would happen as he put on his gloves and mask. She couldn't have been more than eight years old. Probably six or seven. When the ambulance drove in with the girl, no one was with her, telling her it would be all right. She moaned in pain and the doctor knew he, or the rest of the doctors around him, couldn't handle all of this. They needed backup. They needed Doctor Richard Hallings. He was definitely an expert with his knife. It also helped that his sister-in-law taught him how to sew the rips on his own pants. Sewing, or stitching, would come in handy.

Everything the middle Baudelaire knew about teeth, he knew from Sunny. But he didn't want to stick his hand s in anybody's mouth. He'd learned the consequences long ago, Sunny taught him that also. No, Klaus was here for the job of secretary. No experience needed, right?


	2. Pliers in the OR

A/N : I'm sorry chapter one was short, I'm sorry chapter two is so short, I'm sorry for the length of time it took me to write chapter two, I'm sorry for all the skipping around, and if you just skipped to chapter two without checking the first one (if you were one of the earlier reviewers), notice I updated ! Most likely halfway through the story I'll try to fix the choppy parts and add some of the chapters together to make it longer. And I'm not even sure there are pliers in hospitals but…I stink at this…and I'm lazy. Oh, well, I'm already working on chapter three which will be way longer than the others.

The half closed door slammed and in walked Doctor Richard, sweaty and tired from the long trudge up four flights of stairs, but anxious for the action to start. Sweat drizzled down his neck and into his untucked shirt collar, anyone could sense his nervousness.

"Richard!" cried a doctor with a surgical mask on his face. Richard couldn't tell who it was, everyone up here looked the same. The doctor raised his arms as high up as the low ceiling would let him and started walking towards his old friend. Doctor Richard moved a little as the surgeon came up to him and gave him a slap on the back, he didn't want to get slashed with the tool in his hand. The other man's hand reached up to his face and pulled down the mask to his neck.

Rich smiled, his old friend from medical school, Werner!

"How long has it been now, Ritchie?" asked Werner.

"Far too long!" replied Richard, "almost 15 years, I swear, I wasn't expecting you at all!"

"Well, you know how it goes," he replied with a small giggle. Richard didn't know what he meant, but it was nice to not be so lonely all the time. This experience might even give him a social life, it would be a dream if he could be considered "cool".

The men walked towards the patient, Richard practically skipped. Moving aside the hospital gown, the two men peered down, trying to get a hint of what they would be dealing with later.

"Oh.." Richard groaned.

"Pliers."


End file.
